<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Past Is In The Past by disneydork</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965409">The Past Is In The Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneydork/pseuds/disneydork'>disneydork</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And some headcannon, F/F, Inspired by a dragon, Movie: Frozen (2013), Movie: Frozen 2 (2019), Oneshot, Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Random - Freeform, dragon - Freeform, elsamaren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:27:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneydork/pseuds/disneydork</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before you can start your future you have to face your demons from the past.</p><p>Or, we see how Elsa gets the ice dragon we now headcannon her as having.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Past Is In The Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>When you and your online friends start talking about Elsa having her own dragon.</p><p>Ok, that's actually how it started but then it spiraled into something totally different because brain thing but yes, there is a dragon involved. The overly detailed description of the actual thought process will follow in the end notes.</p><p>i'm also sorry, this is probably one of my only works i didn't proofread or reread before posting. Please forgive me. i usually spend more than just a day on (most of) my oneshots.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wow…. This is incredible!”</p><p>Elsa tried and failed to hold back a smile at her partner’s reaction.</p><p>It wasn’t that she didn’t believe her ice palace was amazing. It was the first thing she made with her powers after hiding them – hiding <em>herself</em> – for so long. Elsa had no idea what she was capable of back then. And yet she made this intricate, glorious palace made entirely out of ice. It was amazing how far she’d come since then. Learning to accept her powers. Actually being able to use them. To channel and control them. It took so long for people to accept that side of her, and even longer for Elsa to accept that of herself.</p><p>Oh, there were plenty of instances where she enjoyed showing off her powers. She reveled in the opportunity to create an ice skating rink out of Arendelle’s cast courtyard or make ice sculptures for children.</p><p>But in the back of her mind there was always a reminder of how dangerous they were. What they did to Anna. The horrors that she was capable of. How much she actually feared them. How she feared herself. Those insecurities, those thoughts, those mere possibilities, the knowledge that any of them happened once and could very well happen again…. They haunted Elsa. And despite that she had indeed come so far – she was the Fifth Spirit, for crying out loud! – every once in a while those doubts would creep back into her life. Looking at her ice palace and knowing what awaited them on the other side was a sore reminder of that. It took her back to a time when she had no control. She couldn’t be around others. She wasn’t safe. How could she be around the people she loved; anyone she remotely cared about; how could she even live her life if she was so dangerous?</p><p>“Oh, wait till you see what’s inside!” Olaf piped up. He jumped out of the wagon and waddled up the crystal staircase. “You’re gonna love Marshmallow and the Snowgies! I’d say they give the best hugs but the Snowgies don’t have any arms. So they give the best smiles instead!”</p><p>Elsa held in a breath as she unhitched Honeymaren’s reindeer, Sky, from the wagon. It was going to be Honeymaren’s first time meeting Marshmallow and the Snowgies. Despite the fact that they had been together for a few years, this had been the one part of Elsa’s life she was reluctant to share. The only reason they were at the ice palace on this particular day was so they could bring Olaf to visit on his way back to Arendelle.</p><p>“Ok, so, you…you should probably brace yourself. Marshmallow and the Snowgies can be a bit…. Overwhelming,” Elsa stammered a bit as she removed their satchels from the wagon. She couldn’t stand to face Honeymaren directly as she spoke. Even after all their time together, Elsa found herself embarrassed with how easily she flustered. “I…I mean; Marshmallow, he…. He seems vicious but he’s actually very sweet. And the Snowgies…there’s…. Well, there’s a lot of them. I mean; <em>a lot</em> of them. It, it might as well look like there’s a flood of snow in there and…. And they can be hyper. They can be <em>so</em> hyper, and….”</p><p>“Elsa.”</p><p>Honeymaren’s warm voice cut the blonde off. She gently placed her hand over Elsa’s, which caused her to lighten her grip on the satchels. Elsa let the handles slip out of her fingers and back into the wagon. She turned to face her partner, unable to hold back the blush that covered her cheeks. But, as always, there was never any judgmental look from Honeymaren. Sometimes, confusion. But always an inviting smile. Elsa felt Honeymaren’s hand wrap entirely around hers, encasing it in a comfortable and encouraging embrace.</p><p>“I’m certain I’ll love them. They’re yours.”</p><p>She said it so as-a-matter-of-factly. As if she would love anything that Elsa created. Because they were an extension of her. There would be absolutely no question about it.</p><p>Elsa wrapped her free hand around Honeymaren’s and pulled their hands close to her chest. She hoped her partner didn’t feel how much her heart was pounding. Even though Elsa was the Fifth Spirit, even if she did have these powers, Honeymaren never treated her differently. It almost seemed as if there were times she forgot Elsa could create ice with the simple flick of her fingers. And even when she was reminded, her expression was nothing short of being in awe. She marveled at Elsa’s capabilities and her stares always seemed to linger at the creations. Even when Elsa had her spirit duties to tend to, more often than not upon her return she would find Honeymaren by one of her creations. A sculpture she made for the tribe; an ice reindeer for the herd; a tree that glimmered with ice crystals dangling from the branches; even a simple snow pile Bruni would dive into. It was almost as if, even when Elsa was not present, Honeymaren wanted to be near something of hers that was. So she’d always have a part of Elsa with her.</p><p>Elsa had indeed come so far with her powers. Even though, once in a while, there might be an occasion in which they would flare up – courtesy of her being so easily surprised or flustered – she had essentially mastered them. There was, by all accounts, absolutely nothing to fear any longer. But still….</p><p>Being back on the North Mountain.</p><p>Standing in front of the ice palace.</p><p>Knowing what was inside.</p><p>Going back to that time.</p><p>It was nerve-wracking.</p><p>Even after all this time, how was Elsa going to handle it?</p><p>And what was Honeymaren going to think?</p><p>She felt her partner’s lips graze her forehead. Elsa exhaled silently, feeling her heartbeat lessen. Her thumb slid across Honeymaren’s knuckle and she felt her breathing steady, not even realizing it might have quickened. She took in the familiar scent of her partner, feeling more at ease with her by her side.</p><p>Honeymaren reluctantly pulled out of Elsa’s grasp, reaching over to remove the satchels from the wagon. She rested one over her shoulder and offered the other one to Elsa. Elsa followed suit and, as soon as her hands were free, she found one slipping right back into Honeymaren’s. The reindeer cautiously made her way up the staircase, unsteadily placing one hoof in front of the other. Honeymaren and Elsa followed Sky, and while Elsa’s other hand was gripping onto the handle of the satchel, Honeymaren’s was sliding up the banister of the staircase. Whether it was continuing to marvel at Elsa’s work or to simply have an arm out and prepared in case Sky slipped, Elsa was unsure.</p><p>The door to the palace was already opened, as Olaf had gone in ahead of them. They could hear his faint squeals of greeting each Snowgie, his slightly cracking voice bouncing off against the walls. Elsa could hear Sky grunting with confusion as they stepped inside. Elsa’s ice sandals clacked against the floor; so this was what it felt like to be in her own creation again. She closed her eyes, picturing herself walking across the palace for the first time. She remembered everything about putting the structure together. How she thought of Arendelle. How she could see the image so clearly in her mind and simply waved her arms to make that picture a reality. She remembered feeling herself encased in the ice, but not out of fear and instead of freedom. She had been able to let her powers run free. She had completely embraced them and created a sanctuary for herself. And then, she covered herself in ice. She had somehow willed the fabric of her coronation dress to shift into something completely different – something more breathable. And then, she strutted across those icy floors, ice shoes once again clicking against the identical material. And she breathed in the new day. Her first new day not as Queen Elsa of Arendelle, but simply Elsa. The girl who happened to control ice.</p><p>“HI!”</p><p>The deep, booming voice, shook Elsa back into reality.</p><p>Oh, she knew quite well to expect that.</p><p>But it was still more than enough to force her out of her daydream.</p><p>Elsa opened her eyes and looked up, meeting the deep ones of her snow minion. Marshmallow was <em>huge</em>, so different from Olaf. And without the icicles protruding from his back or arms and with what had been Elsa’s tiara resting atop his head, he almost did look like a giant marshmallow. The blonde briefly glanced to her partner, who had just a little bit of snow on her head and shoulders. Elsa pulled her lips in, attempting not to giggle. She had forgotten that when Marshmallow got angry or excited he had a slight tendency to…. Elsa didn’t even know how to describe it except breathe snow. And even though the white particles covered Honeymaren, it was still painfully obvious that the brunette had a clenched jaw and wide eyes. Whatever the hell she had been expecting, that was <em>not</em> it.</p><p>Elsa would admit though, in that moment it was almost too easy to forget the circumstances surrounding Marshmallow’s creation in the first place.</p><p>“Uh….” Honeymaren dragged out her response.</p><p>That time, Elsa did giggle. She gently patted some of the snow off of Honeymaren’s shoulder before dusting it off of her hat. “You could also say hello,” she suggested.</p><p>Pause.</p><p>“I…I knew that,” Honeymaren replied quickly. “Just…I…. Didn’t…. Uh…. Expect to be greeted with so much snow.”</p><p>“Nice save,” Elsa muttered.</p><p>She must have meant; she didn’t expect Marshmallow to be Marshmallow.</p><p>Elsa lightly signaled for the creature to come down to their level. Marshmallow obliged and knelt down – a bit slowly, considering the limp he still walked with after that battle with Hans. Then, the beast held out one of his hands to Honeymaren.</p><p>“Marshmallow, this is my partner Honeymaren. Maren, meet Marshmallow,” Elsa formally introduced them.</p><p>“Uh….” The brunette blinked. Titling her lips to the side, she steadily lifted her free arm and then placed her hand on the creature’s finger, as if to shake it. “Nice to…meet you…?”</p><p>Marshmallow smiled and, although it appeared menacing, the faintest ‘heh heh’ from him seemed to imply that he was also a bit nervous. And why wouldn’t he be, when the only one who ever came to visit him was Olaf?</p><p>Elsa briefly removed her glance from the minion and looked across the room to see the Snowgies all surround Olaf. He seemed to be doing his best to hug each individual one, although a couple he leaned forward to pat on their heads. The little guys seemed far too distracted by their brother to notice anything else. That was fine by Elsa. It was best that they keep their distance. Elsa didn’t want to….</p><p>“OH! REINDEER!” Marshmallow exclaimed.</p><p>A confused bark escaped Sky.</p><p>Elsa turned her head. Marshmallow attempted to reach over for the reindeer, only for Sky to gasp and dash out the door.</p><p>“NO! COME BACK!” the creature begged. He stood up and ran past the women, following the reindeer outside. Elsa felt the ground beneath her shake a bit in tandem with Marshmallow’s footsteps. There wasn’t even a chance to explain to him that Sky had never seen anything like him before.</p><p>Actually, she had never seen any of Elsa’s live creations outside of Olaf.</p><p>Come to think of it, no one in Northuldra probably knew any of Elsa’s creations were alive besides Olaf.</p><p>Suddenly, the Snowgies all began dashing out of the palace after Marshmallow. Olaf chuckled and followed them out, throwing his arms up in the air in excitement.</p><p>“Oh, I just love a good game of tag! Marshmallow’s it, everyone! Run!”</p><p>The two women relocated to the doorway, staring outside as Marshmallow attempted to get Sky’s attention. The Snowgies all surrounded the confused reindeer and Olaf happily ran around in circles. It was…. Almost surreal, in a way. To think that creatures so childlike and innocent were once brought out because of Elsa. Because of her fear. Because of her lack of control.</p><p>Elsa’s face fell. Perhaps she should be enjoying this. She should not be reminded of her past or any mistakes she had made. She should only be focusing on the moment now. Still, she couldn’t help but think back. The Marshmallow before her now was vastly different from when she created him. She was so scared back then…. She wanted Anna to be scared as well. And in that moment…in that desperate need to make Anna realize…to even go so far as to protect her…. Elsa fully intended to create a monster.</p><p>But that wasn’t what Marshmallow was. That was never what he was. Olaf could see that from the first moment. What horrifying creature would be named Marshmallow of all things? It sounded too adorable.</p><p>Elsa wrapped her arms lightly around herself and sat on the first step. She glanced blankly out at the snow creatures. They were so happy. So innocent. They hadn’t asked to be created. Marshmallow didn’t ask to become her minion. He didn’t ask to play bodyguard to her or to purposefully frighten people or to battle Hans. The Snowgies didn’t have to be there. If Elsa had listened to Anna and realized she was sick in the first place…. Admittedly, the little guys were adorable. But they could also be quite mischievous. Was that because of Elsa at all? Did they cause trouble because somehow they knew she believed <em>she</em> was trouble?</p><p>“Elsa?”</p><p>The blonde blinked. She turned her head to see Honeymaren taking a seat beside her.</p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p>“Just…. Thinking.”</p><p>Not that it was a total lie.</p><p>Although wallowing was perhaps a more proper term.</p><p>A faint ‘hm’ escaped Honeymaren. Elsa felt those warm caramel eyes fall off of her and focus on her creations. No doubt Honeymaren was the one thinking now.</p><p>“I know we were all surprised at a living snowman,” the brunette spoke.</p><p>“As opposed to a naked one?” Elsa mused, recalling the first meeting.</p><p>Olaf was the one who said he found clothes restricting.</p><p>To that, Honeymaren chuckled. “Well, we did at least try to put a hat on the ones we made. Although Ryder would always try to throw <em>something</em> on the snowmen. It was usually soot or whatever loose blades of grass he could dig up.”</p><p>“That sounds accurate,” Elsa commented.</p><p>Honeymaren shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it’s one thing to see one living snowman. Suddenly there’s all these other living, breathing snow creatures running around…. And they’ve been here this whole time, living like a family and having their own lives…. I just…. I can’t believe you made them, Elsa. You <em>literally</em> made them.”</p><p>A blush crept onto Elsa’s cheeks. Even despite Honeymaren’s initial shock by the strange creatures, she still found some way to ogle at them.</p><p>It almost seemed like an exaggeration; but really, Honeymaren could hardly take her eyes off of them.</p><p>She had seen Elsa create so many things before, but nothing like them.</p><p>But it couldn’t have possibly been that amazing, could it?</p><p>It was almost funny how many conflicting emotions there could be at once. On the way to the North Mountain, Elsa spent so much time telling herself that it would only be for a short visit. That there was nothing to concern herself with. She had to keep her mind occupied, not think about the circumstances surrounding Marshmallow and the Snowgies. Just…. It was for Olaf. But when Honeymaren complimented her abilities or Elsa saw her stare in amazement…Elsa selfishly felt a sense of pride. The ice palace was one thing; she knew it was something of a feat for her, especially considering the state of mind she had been in. The lack of control and knowledge she had of her powers back then…yet she was able to create that masterpiece…maybe that was something to be proud of. But what right did she have to be? Of that? Of Marshmallow? Of the Snowgies? Just because Honeymaren thought they were so unbelievable? Elsa loved nothing more than seeing the wide smile cross her partner’s face. There was a sense of happiness and accomplishment knowing she did that; that she could bring out that specific smile, that specific reaction, that specific joy in a way no one else could. But now…seeing the creatures in front of her…watching them…being so close to them…being reminded of everything…. It made her anxious. Elsa was in control now, yes. But these were things that happened once. What could stop them from happening again? And just because these creatures, these…babies…were so happy and innocent, that didn’t mean everything Elsa made would be the same. Elsa knew better than anyone that her magic was not all glimmer and beauty. It was powerful. It was threatening. It could go so far as to be deadly. She did that. She caused that. What if there was a chance anything like that could happen again? Everything was so fine now; seemingly perfect. But that’s how it always was, wasn’t it? Just when things seemed to be going just right or everything fell into place or Elsa felt more at ease than she ever did before…something would happen.</p><p>She couldn’t be here.</p><p>She thought maybe she could but….</p><p>But she couldn’t.</p><p>Her arms wrapped tighter around herself. “As soon as they’re done playing, we’re going.”</p><p>“What?” Honeymaren blinked. “How come?”</p><p>“We need to,” Elsa decided. She started to stand, but was halted upon feeling Honeymaren’s grasp. The brunette grabbed Elsa’s hand and gently pulled her back beside her.</p><p>“Hey….” Her voice was soft and her brows furrowed with concern. Honeymaren knew very well that when Elsa was frightened or nervous she had a tendency to run. Elsa was trying to get better, she swore. It was always a work in progress. But she couldn’t stay. Not now. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“It’s nothing,” Elsa croaked quickly.</p><p>“Elsa what’s wrong?” she asked.</p><p>“I have to go,” Elsa responded.</p><p>The sudden shift seemed to confuse Honeymaren. “Why?”</p><p>Elsa bit her tongue.</p><p>No, <em>they</em> didn’t have to go. <em>Elsa</em> did. She realized it after she said it. Olaf wanted to spend time with his brothers. Honeymaren wanted to be there. But Elsa couldn’t. All she could do was think back to that time.</p><p>
  <em>What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop me?</em>
</p><p>The words echoed in her mind. That’s what she said to Anna before creating Marshmallow. Anna begged Elsa to return with her to Arendelle. She offered her help. She braved the storm and climbed the North Mountain for Elsa. Anna, despite being kept away from Elsa for so many years, despite not knowing her, despite seeing a small portion of what her powers could do…. Anna was going to do absolutely anything for her sister. But Elsa couldn’t let her do that. Continue to put herself in danger. Risk her life. Choose Elsa over Arendelle. Elsa had done nothing to deserve that. She said anything and everything she could to convince Anna otherwise. And, when that didn’t work, in the midst of a storm cloud appeared Marshmallow. She wanted to frighten Anna. She wanted to send her away. She wanted to make Anna hate her the way she hated herself.</p><p>And even when things seemed to be getting better, when they could finally live their lives as sisters the way they were meant to, to actually spend some time together and enjoy each other’s company and be a real family…. It was Anna’s first birthday that they could actually spend together and even when Elsa tried to make it so special for her, she couldn’t do that right. She had to go and get sick. She had to ignore the warning signs. She had to drag Anna through the castle and all throughout Arendelle to give her everything and what did she do? Make Anna not only worry about her but then have to spend the rest of her birthday taking care of her. What kind of sister did that? Elsa could have let Anna have a great day. With Kristoff and Olaf and Sven and everyone in the kingdom. Elsa missed so many of Anna’s birthdays; what was one more? But no, she had to be so stubborn. And from that came the Snowgies. Absolutely unnecessary and something that could have so easily been avoided and….</p><p>But that’s what Elsa did, wasn’t it? If her powers weren’t a threat in some way then they were messing everything up. If <em>Elsa</em> wasn’t a threat then <em>she</em> was messing everything up.</p><p>She couldn’t be around them and be reminded of that.</p><p>She couldn’t be around Honeymaren and pretend everything was ok, that she and her powers really were that inspiring.</p><p>Hell, she couldn’t even seem to have a <em>life</em> without being reminded of any of that.</p><p>What was the point?</p><p>Even when Elsa thought she could have a relationship with Anna. When she could have an <em>actual</em> relationship with the person she wanted to spend her life with. When there was a remote chance Elsa could be normal on even the faintest level.</p><p>“Elsa…?”</p><p>“I have to go,” she repeated.</p><p>“O…kay….” Honeymaren didn’t seem to understand. But it didn’t seem to deter her. “I’ll go with you.”</p><p>“No, don’t!” Elsa gasped. She tore her hand hastily away from her partner. Her arms wrapped tight around herself again, her body conforming into a ball as much as it could possibly go. Her head leaned forward, blonde locks completely covering her face and strands long enough to, in that position, nearly reach the ground. She let out a few huffed breaths, trying desperately to ignore the worried look of Honeymaren. She could feel those eyes piercing through her. She could picture them perfectly. Why did she have to look at her like that? Like it was such a big deal that Elsa was responding this way? Why was there such a need to make it look like Elsa was so…. Special?</p><p>She wasn’t.</p><p>She was anything but.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>It was so hard to ignore that voice. A voice that complimented her name so well. It really did sound like it was made of honey. It was so warm and sweet. It was a sound Elsa found herself melting into more times than she could count. It was even sticky like honey; so addicting that Elsa just needed to hear more of it.</p><p>And, as usual, there was no judgment. Even if Honeymaren didn’t understand, even if Elsa didn’t tell her everything, it didn’t stop her from worrying. It never made her be any less present. But she should have absolutely been driven crazy by that now, shouldn’t she? There was still so much Elsa didn’t tell her. And Honeymaren was always so damn respectful of that…she never once questioned anything nor forced anything out of Elsa. There was this…undeniable, unbreakable, unspoken trust.</p><p>What the hell did Elsa do to deserve that?</p><p>How could she continue to put the person she loved through that?</p><p>Honeymaren didn’t deserve that.</p><p>She deserved so much more.</p><p>Elsa’s voice was shaky when she finally spoke, and it came out barely above a whisper.</p><p>“I’m dangerous.”</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>The words left her mouth and suddenly Elsa could feel everything resurface. She felt her heart racing out of her chest. She felt the tears reach the edges of her eyes. She felt the ice rise in her veins. The ice spread through her body, creeping towards her fingertips. Even through shut eyes, Elsa could see the faint blue glow. Something was going to be released. Something dangerous, no doubt. Just like her.</p><p>What she didn’t expect was to feel Honeymaren’s hand on hers again.</p><p>It completely blocked out the blue glow.</p><p>Elsa’s breath hitched and she desperately tried to control the magic that begged to escape her. She couldn’t let it release now; if it did it would strike Honeymaren. No…. No! She…. She couldn’t let that happen. Not again! Conceal, don’t feel. Conceal, don’t feel….</p><p>“Elsa.”</p><p>She didn’t realize how much she was trembling until she heard Honeymaren’s voice. In an instant it almost seemed to…not calm her, but rather…. It distracted her. When Honeymaren spoke, that was all Elsa could focus on. She couldn’t imagine anything other than Honeymaren. It was just her. Comforting Elsa. Sitting beside Elsa. Talking to Elsa. Being with Elsa. Loving Elsa. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else even existed. It was just Honeymaren.</p><p>She felt her partner lean in closer to her, the warmth of her body practically radiating against her. It almost felt like Honeymaren’s forehead was up against Elsa’s side, because she could have sworn that as she spoke again, Honeymaren’s lips accidentally grazed Elsa’s ear.</p><p>Unless that was a tactic to distract her.</p><p>Elsa would not be surprised.</p><p>Honeymaren’s voice was light and the words that escaped almost sounded too angelic to belong to an actual person.</p><p>“You are the least dangerous person I know.”</p><p>Elsa bit her bottom lip and moved her free hand from around her to cover her face. She couldn’t prevent a few stray tears from falling. How the hell could Honeymaren say that? Her…her and Anna…they were the only two people who never associated Elsa with the word ‘dangerous’. Even in the darkest hours they thought nothing less of her. How in the hell…? With all that Elsa was capable of…? With what she had done…?</p><p>The memory of creating Marshmallow flashed again. She was dangerous. So she created something meant to be equally so. She thought back to the Snowgies popping up. Even if they weren’t dangerous…they were still uncontrollable. Elsa was uncontrolled. If it happened again…would the next ones not…?</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me everything.” Honeymaren kept her voice the same tone. She didn’t dismiss Elsa. She didn’t try to convince her otherwise. She didn’t force anything. Instead she only asked one thing. “Just…let me be here. Please.”</p><p>Elsa felt more tears slide down her cheeks.</p><p>This…this wasn’t fair.</p><p>Honeymaren had every right to ask.</p><p>She should absolutely know.</p><p>She was Elsa’s significant other, her other half, her <em>better</em> half, and yet….</p><p>How could Elsa keep this from her?</p><p>How were they supposed to spend their lives together if Elsa couldn’t trust her with this? If she couldn’t share this part of her?</p><p>Honeymaren promised to accept Elsa for all that she was.</p><p>And she had conformed so much to Elsa’s comfort already.</p><p>How could Elsa continue to ask this of her? To just…sit back and wait for her to be ready to say anything? If at all?</p><p>How could Elsa expect Honeymaren to fully accept her when the reality was, she still struggled fully accept herself?</p><p>No. Elsa couldn’t keep doing this to her.</p><p>A pause ensued. Neither of them said or did anything. Honeymaren let it be completely on Elsa when she was comfortable saying or doing anything. She just sat there waiting patiently, as she always did.</p><p>Finally, Elsa swallowed. Though she kept her head down, she found it in herself to remove her hand from her face. She couldn’t bear to watch the scenes that were about to unfold in front of her. She waved her fingers, creating a trail of ice crystals. A few steps in front of them, the crystals began to take the shapes of the images Elsa saw in her mind. First there were snow figurines of Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and Marshmallow. Snow Marshmallow took the form Elsa originally created him in, his attack form, so to speak. Snow Marshmallow stormed to the other snow figures, lifted them up and tossed them. He yelled, “GO AWAY!” He briefly returned to his regular form, only a moment later to scream and switch back to his attack form. The spikes protruded from his back as he chased after the snow figures. They ran across the step and, on the second lap around, there was Snow Marshmallow holding up Snow Anna. “DON’T COME BACK!” he bellowed in her face before Snow Anna squeaked, “we won’t.” Snow Anna and Snow Kristoff were dropped off the side of the staircase and into the chasm beneath as Snow Marshmallow turned around and slowly vanished into snowflakes.</p><p>The snowflakes shifted. They began turning into tiny figurines of the Snowgies. A Snow Elsa was formed, constantly sneezing as she tried to present Anna with multiple gifts. They ran across and up and down each step, even going so far as to slide across the banister. Yet with every sneeze, Snow Elsa created more and more Snowgie figurines. When it appeared Snow Elsa was about to fall off the side, Snow Anna grabbed her and pulled her back to her feet. She helped her down the banister and back onto one of the steps. Snow Anna and Snow Elsa began walking across and ended up being presented with a snow cake. Suddenly, more Snowgie figures appeared, completely smashing the snow cake and burying Snow Anna and Snow Elsa. When the figurines cleared into flakes, Snow Anna was feeding Snow Elsa soup in bed. “Best present ever,” Snow Anna said, “letting me take care of you.” And even though Snow Anna said it just as lovingly as the real thing, Elsa couldn’t help but read into the disappointment. What kind of gift was that? Letting Anna take care of her? Elsa should have done that herself. Anna could sound grateful all she wanted in any form. But even as those figures evaporated into the air, Elsa couldn’t help but think of what a much better birthday Anna would have had if Elsa didn’t ruin it. If Elsa hadn’t even been there.</p><p>“Oh, Elsa….”</p><p>Honeymaren’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Elsa wondered how much of it she actually understood. If she could see the way the guilt was eating away at her.</p><p>But Honeymaren didn’t say anything right away. Instead, she kissed the side of Elsa’s head and squeezed her hand before kissing her knuckles. Elsa couldn’t tell which of them had been shaking. Or perhaps it was both of them. Elsa knew why she would be, because she didn’t expect Honeymaren to kiss her there at all. Not while Elsa was struggling to suppress her powers in that hand still. But the fact that Honeymaren had done that…. How was Elsa’s hand not freezing? Surely Honeymaren could feel the chill. Yet it didn’t deter her from making any kind of contact. She was still very much present and invested. She continued to show nothing less than her love and admiration for Elsa.</p><p>“You are the warmest person I know,” the brunette continued. “You care so much for the people you love that you’d go to any lengths to protect them, no matter what it is. Even if it means hurting yourself. But you’re worth so much more than that, Elsa.”</p><p>If only Elsa could find it in herself to believe her.</p><p>When she didn’t respond, Honeymaren continued.</p><p>“You’re not the same person now that you were then. Look at how far you’ve come. Think about it. Show me…. Please.”</p><p>Another pause.</p><p>Elsa had come a long way, but something told her Honeymaren wasn’t talking about her powers. Or…just about her powers. Elsa’s brows furrowed as she attempted to keep herself focused. How far had she come…?</p><p>She started with one finger circling. She imagined the snow figure in front of her. Her teenage self, begging her parents to stay away when they tried to comfort her. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she had said.</p><p>Her and Anna at the coronation, when Anna said things could be like that all the time. Elsa turned away, denying her and Anna asked why, going so far as to reach out to her. “It just can’t,” she had nearly snapped.</p><p>Anna reaching out and grabbing Elsa’s glove. Elsa jerking back.</p><p>Anna going after Elsa in the ice palace, trying to convince her to return to Arendelle.</p><p>Anna almost getting close enough to her…and then Elsa had to go and release that ice into Anna’s heart.</p><p>Anna turning to ice and Elsa still, even in that moment struggling to make physical contact with her.</p><p>After the Great Thaw, Elsa cautiously reaching out to Anna. And Anna not hesitating before wrapping her in a tight hug.</p><p>It had taken so much after all that time for Elsa to remotely consider reaching out to Anna. And when she finally had the opportunity she had still been so terrified. But after that….</p><p>They embraced so much. Whether it was hugging, cuddling after singing their mother’s lullaby, holding hands or pressing their foreheads together.</p><p>Elsa had gone from being so terrified of remotely having any contact with her own sister to having any kind of contact with her any chance she could get.</p><p>For so many years Elsa was as closed off from people as she could get. She’d gone from that to….</p><p>The snowflakes shifted and formed shapes of Elsa with Honeymaren.</p><p>The first time they sat at the campfire.</p><p>Honeymaren showing her around the encampment.</p><p>The two of them with the reindeer.</p><p>There was…never quite as much distance between the two of them as there had been with Elsa and Anna in the beginning. Elsa didn’t need to look at the figures to see that; she remembered it. But then again, Elsa had been at a much different point in her life when she met Honeymaren. Even if she was still guarded from people, she had at least been more open to the idea.</p><p>But the first time they held hands, Elsa flinched and pulled hers away.</p><p>Elsa had been with one of the spirits and then knocked into Honeymaren, but apologized profusely at the sudden contact.</p><p>The first time they fell asleep side by side; when Elsa didn’t even realize until after she woke up. And then…she slowly rested her head against Honeymaren’s shoulder again.</p><p>Their handholding began to linger.</p><p>Elsa found herself more ready to reach out to Honeymaren.</p><p>How those little moments evolved into pecks to the knuckle or cheek or even forehead and eventually….</p><p>Actual kisses.</p><p>Real embraces.</p><p>Falling asleep in each other’s arms.</p><p>Actually being together.</p><p>There were too many instances for the snowflakes to keep up. They couldn’t possibly capture every time. There really had been a lot of growth for Elsa. She….</p><p>She really wasn’t the same person anymore, was she?</p><p>That Elsa, the one the magic showed so many instances of had been terrified. She was taught one thing about her powers – conceal; don’t feel. She was raised to believe that they were dangerous. And that, by extension, she was dangerous. She had no knowledge of understanding why she had her magic or where it came from. Hell, she didn’t even know fully where she came from. But now? She knew why she had her magic. She knew it was a gift and not a curse. She knew what she was meant to do. Not just with her powers, but as a person. She knew she was more than just Arendellian; she was also Northuldra. What Elsa had now was knowledge and experience.</p><p>“May I ask you something?”</p><p>To Honeymaren’s inquiry, Elsa gave a nod.</p><p>“If you really felt that way, couldn’t you have made them…?”</p><p>She didn’t need to dive too deep. Honeymaren read enough into Elsa’s unspoken words that there had indeed been fear. Nor did she need to finish the question.</p><p>If Elsa had been that terrified, why keep Marshmallow and the Snowgies? Why not magic them away if they were going to continue haunting her? Even if she rarely visited them, even if she tried to forget they existed, why not just wipe them away in the first place?</p><p>Elsa’s answer was simple.</p><p>“Olaf.”</p><p>Her response was quiet and another pause followed. Elsa took a breath and finally allowed herself to relax somewhat into her partner’s embrace before continuing.</p><p>“I know what it’s like to be separated. To be forced away. I couldn’t do that to him. From his…. Family.”</p><p>“So you don’t think they’re…?”</p><p>It was a difficult question.</p><p>Did Elsa think they were dangerous?</p><p>Sure, Marshmallow could very much appear dangerous. But that didn’t mean he was.</p><p>And the Snowgies may have caused trouble but…that didn’t mean they were bad, either.</p><p>Or did…?</p><p>What if Elsa expected them to be like her?</p><p>Because when she looked at them, all she could see was a reflection of herself?</p><p>But there was a reason she distanced herself from them.</p><p>And, as she said, she would never force that on Olaf. He saw his brothers every chance he could get.</p><p>“I trust Olaf.”</p><p>As long as Elsa rarely had to see her creations for herself, she could push away her demons. She could liken them to nothing more than a story or perhaps a dream or nightmare. The way Olaf would talk about them when she asked of his visits, they did sound like a dream. Not that Olaf really ever had anything negative to say about anyone to begin with.</p><p>That was how she knew about them. Stories and stories alone. She had wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>“This one doesn’t look like much trouble to me.”</p><p>Elsa blinked. She rubbed her eyes before willing herself to sit up. A few steps in front of them, just short of where the snow figures had been portrayed, was one of the Snowgies. He stared up at Elsa and tilted his head. A faint ‘hm’ escaped the blonde.</p><p>“I think he likes you,” Honeymaren continued her observation.</p><p>Elsa stared at the Snowgie. The little guy didn’t make any sudden movements. He didn’t come any closer or make any sounds. He just…stared at Elsa. Like he was waiting for something.</p><p>Elsa tried to think. She thought back to some of the stories Olaf shared. Don’t think about that day, she thought to herself, think about Olaf.</p><p>Elsa trusted Olaf more than she feared herself. So maybe….</p><p>Oh….</p><p>Olaf would often describe some of the things the Snowgies did. What were some of the things he mentioned…? Sludge liked to headbang…or was it headbutt? William loved music…. Sphere liked to roll himself in a ball into everyone else…. Crystal was always looking for something….</p><p>Wait….</p><p>That’s right.</p><p>Crystal was always looking for Elsa. He was wondering when she would come visit with Olaf.</p><p>Squeezing Honeymaren’s hand, Elsa hesitantly held out her free one to Crystal. She felt her hand tremble a bit. He’s not dangerous, she reminded herself, you’re not dangerous….</p><p>He was a miniature Olaf. That’s all Crystal was. That’s all any of the Snowgies were. And Marshmallow…. Marshmallow was a giant, protective Olaf.</p><p>Olaf was the least threatening thing Elsa ever created.</p><p>How could she continue to associate these creatures with some of the most trying and dark times in her life when they were also directly connected to one of the most innocent and wonderful things?</p><p>Crystal was small enough to practically jump into Elsa’s hand. He was a bit heavier than she anticipated so he nearly rolled off. Elsa had to quickly pull her whole arm in so Crystal could summersault onto her lap. The Snowgie looked around curiously, and then up at Elsa.</p><p>He has Olaf’s eyes, Elsa realized.</p><p>It brought the faintest smile to her face.</p><p>Crystal’s smile grew and he let out a little squeal of delight. He jumped up once and then looked to Honeymaren. He blinked, paused, and then blinked again. He lifted one of his feet, using it to wave to her, and then cuddled in close to Elsa by rubbing his head against her chest.</p><p>Elsa felt herself flinch at the sudden sensation. It’s ok, she reminded herself, it’s ok. She took a breath in and then slowly exhaled before lifting her hand. She lightly caressed the Snowgie’s head with her fingertips. It’s ok, she thought again, <em>you’re</em> ok.</p><p>“Feeling better?” Honeymaren asked, placing another peck to Elsa’s hand.</p><p>“A little,” Elsa confessed. She turned her head towards her partner, noticing her hand still lingered by Honeymaren’s lips. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Always,” she nodded. “And any time you need to come back, I’ll come with. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”</p><p>Of course. This wasn’t a be-all end-all. Not all of Elsa’s problems or traumas were going to be solved in one day. She may have been ok now or, at the very least, with Crystal, but there were still so many Snowgies. And to completely overcome everything from her past, to unlearn everything she originally believed, it was probably always going to be a work in progress. Elsa would always be a work in progress.</p><p>But Honeymaren was absolutely right; Elsa didn’t need to be afraid anymore.</p><p>Elsa looked at Crystal, then out on the mountain towards Marshmallow and, finally, behind them at the ice palace.</p><p>Honeymaren was right. Elsa’s powers were incredible. They could create the most wondrous things.</p><p>But Elsa was also right; she knew better than anyone how dangerous her powers could be.</p><p>Why must she always fear about them being one or the other?</p><p>If she was going to be able to fully move on from those fears, to even start pushing the rest of those hesitations out of her, Elsa had to take the first step. And right now, that meant fully accepting her magic for everything that it was.</p><p>For the last few years she only needed to use the good side of her powers. To create. To entertain. To protect. Never to fight or threaten.</p><p>But ice was many things. And she needed something to reflect that entirely.</p><p>“I have an idea.”</p><p>Lifting Crystal in her arm, Elsa stood up and pulled Honeymaren to her feet. They descended the staircase and approached a large, empty space a bit away from the other creations. Elsa could hear their curious squeaks in the background, and little pounces on the snow as they followed her. Elsa made sure to stop at a clearing, away from the edge and where there were few trees in front of her. She heard the Snowgies stop behind them and even a few thumps as Marshmallow kept some distance behind. Elsa surveyed the area one final time before giving a nod. She turned to her partner and placed Crystal in her arms. Then, with a small smile, she kissed Honeymaren’s cheek. She allowed the contact to linger a few extra moments before pulling away and stepping a bit away from the center.</p><p>Olaf clapped his hands. “Ooooo I have no idea what she’s doing, but this is gonna be good. I can tell!”</p><p>A few of the Snowgies piped up in agreement.</p><p>Elsa looked down at her hands, and then at the open space in front of her again.</p><p>Beautiful. Powerful. Dangerous.</p><p>Her magic was all of those things and more.</p><p>It was time to stop acknowledging only one of those sides.</p><p>It was time to embrace everything they were and more.</p><p>It was time to create something that completely reflected them.</p><p>She needed something that mirrored the majesty and beauty of her magic.</p><p>She was not just Elsa, the former queen who happened to wield ice magic.</p><p>She was Elsa, the Fifth Spirit gifted with magical powers to protect.</p><p>This creature, this new creation of hers, was going to do the same.</p><p>Closing her eyes, Elsa began circling her arms in wide motions. Some of the snow from the ground around them gathered while other bits of particles seemed to appear from thin air, captured in tiny water droplets before crystalizing into ice. Before Elsa a large mist formed. It didn’t take shape right away; at first it only appeared to be a large circle. But then, slowly but surely, as the ball became big enough and Elsa briefly halted her motions, it began to shift.</p><p>Constricting her fingers, silhouettes of icicles expanded from the top of the cloud. Keeping one hand where it was and her fingers tightened on the other, she withdrew that arm towards her. From the back of the cloud came something almost resembling a tail. More prominent icicles protruded from the top of that, though not nearly as tall compared to the originals.</p><p>With her other hand, Elsa flattened her palm before circling it around and facing it upwards. A snout popped out from the front of the cloud, only revealing enough of itself to imply that there were crystal scales shining from its cheeks. Elsa unclenched her first hand and straightened it out in front of her. As her second hand followed suit, from what appeared to be the head of the cloud came something else. No, not a pair of eyes. These were above the eyes. Elsa could picture it in her mind so clearly. They…they were horns. Horns that materialized from the top of the snow white head and curled towards the back, leaving more than enough space between their edges and the creature’s neck.</p><p>In one swift motion her arms rose straight up to the sky. In a snap, the mist formed two poles. But as soon as Elsa’s arms spread out to the sides again, the poles expanded. They went from being two thin, almost tick-like figures, to a pair of grandiose wings. A breeze blew as they flapped once and Elsa could feel strands of her hair snapping against her face and shoulders. But she didn’t let that disturb her concentration.</p><p>The second she opened her ocean blue eyes, a similar pair seemed to snap open through the mist. Suddenly, Elsa folded her arms across her chest before flinging them to the sides again. And in that one motion, the mist began to clear. Elsa adjusted her posture so she stood straight. Her eyes flickered upwards, able to fully meet the creature’s.</p><p>It was tall, much more so than Marshmallow. And, by all accounts, it looked just as vicious as Marshmallow did in that first moment.</p><p>A low growl escaped its snout and as it exhaled, a cold wind blew in their direction. Its slightly opened mouth revealed sharp fangs. The talons on its paws were just as sharp as the icicles on its back. The scales on its body did indeed resemble crystals while the rest seemed to nearly blend in with the snow. It was a bit rounder than Elsa had originally intended, but that was perhaps due to the way its body was curving. It could certainly disguise itself as a giant rock of snow if it so desired. Its tail swiped up and down and then back and forth. The motion was swift and light; ironic considering how heavy the body part actually appeared.</p><p>“Holy shit,” she heard Honeymaren breathe.</p><p>“Can I say shit, too?” Olaf asked.</p><p>“Don’t you dare,” the brunette scolded.</p><p>But perhaps their comments were not too far off.</p><p>Holy shit indeed.</p><p>Because sitting before them was not only a creature none of them had ever seen before, but also something that Elsa could never have imagined conjuring for herself. Especially not on a scale such as this. This was so much more than some snowmen figures or even the typical creatures like reindeer or bears.</p><p>This was a fucking dragon.</p><p>The beast breathed quietly; with each exhale more cold air escaping its body. It sat still, not making any sudden movements. And though it very much looked vicious, for once it was not something Elsa feared. The blonde stepped forward. As she halted in front of the snout, she could fully compare their sizes. She could barely meet its gaze because she felt so miniscule compared to its nose. Elsa waited a moment, allowing the dragon to be certain it was comfortable with its creator approaching it. Elsa slowly raised an arm, flat palm facing its face. She heard it sniff. Elsa’s loose hair fluttered on the resulting breeze, almost looking as if it were going to be pulled forward into its nostrils. Slowly, the breeze faded and her hair fell back onto her shoulders. With no refusal from the dragon, Elsa gently placed her palm to the snout. She felt it tilt slightly, as if it were nodding against her touch. Elsa leaned in more, resting her forehead against the creature. It was not as cold as she envisioned but then again, the cold never bothered her anyway. She felt herself breathing silently in sync with her new creation.</p><p>This was not something made of fear.</p><p>This was not something intended to cause harm.</p><p>This was not something used to purposefully threaten.</p><p>This was a creature of beauty.</p><p>Of protection.</p><p>Of power.</p><p>Of strength.</p><p>Elsa’s strength.</p><p>Honeymaren’s words echoed once again.</p><p>She didn’t have to be afraid anymore.</p><p>Pulling apart, Elsa turned her head towards Marshmallow. Elsa extended her free arm towards him. The giant snowman seemed confused, even pointing to himself as if to ask for confirmation. When Elsa gave a nod, Marshmallow carefully navigated his way over the Snowgies and towards her.</p><p>“Its….” Elsa started but cut herself off. She glanced to the dragon again. She shifted her body in an attempt to meet its eyes. After a blink from the creature, Elsa nodded and returned her attention to Marshmallow. “Its – or her is fine – name is S’more. And it will help you protect the North Mountain and the Snowgies from any danger. Please be good to it and take good care of it.”</p><p>Elsa took a step back, but kept her hand on S’more’s snout. She watched as Marshmallow’s face lit up in amazement. “S’MORE,” he repeated curiously. Marshmallow took one more step closer and then stopped. He looked at his hand and then at Elsa. She gave him a single nod in confirmation. After a pause, Marshmallow reached his hand out to S’more. Elsa removed her hand and gave the dragon a moment to inspect its new friend. Then, after a moment, S’more pressed her snout against Marshmallow’s chilled hand. Marshmallow gasped and, even through his hollow eyes, it was clear that they were lighting up in pure delight. “DRAGON!”</p><p>S’more seemed to smile in response. The icicles on its back folded backwards, falling flat down, as did the ones on its tail. It stared in Marshmallow’s direction, giving him a moment before he reached out once again. With a silent confirmation from the creature, Marshmallow climbed onto its back. S’more’s wings opened entirely and began gently flapping. As the moments passed, her wings moved more vigorously and her body began lifting from the ground. Finally, with a squeal of delight from the giant snowman, the dragon took off into the clear sky.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“That. Was. AMAZING!” Olaf exclaimed.</p><p>The Snowgies cheered in agreement, jumping up and down in excitement.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>It was pretty amazing, wasn’t it?</p><p>Elsa turned around. Honeymaren approached her and, once she was close enough, Crystal leaped from her arms and jumped into Elsa’s. Without a second thought, Elsa welcomed the Snowgie into her grasp. Before she knew it, she felt Honeymaren press her lips against hers. She felt her partner’s hand snag around her waist. Elsa removed one arm from the Snowgie and lifted it towards the back of Honeymaren’s head, feelings her fingers entangle in the thick curls. It was a soft, yet passionate and intimate action. And it was the most at peace Elsa felt all day.</p><p>When Honeymaren pulled back, she rested her forehead against Elsa’s. Her brown eyes gazed deeply into Elsa’s and she held the warmest smile on her face; the only Elsa so proudly knew only she could bring out.</p><p>“<em>You</em> are amazing.”</p><p>Elsa shook her head lightly, but didn’t dare to correct her. She just felt her fingernails scratch against Honeymaren’s scalp in a calming motion. Who was she to argue when Honeymaren had been right about everything else thus far?</p><p>“Oooooo what are these?” Olaf asked curiously.</p><p>The women pulled apart completely and turned to where S’more had been sitting. In its place were multiple off-white ovals. Or…did they resemble more of globe shapes? A few of them appeared to have some faint speckles, the lightest pastel shades possible grazing them. But maybe Elsa had only been able to notice them due to her attention for details.</p><p>The Snowgies surrounded the objects as well, a few of them getting much too close for inspection.</p><p>Olaf raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. He knelt forward a bit, hastily poking one with his finger. The item responded by wiggling, nearly jumping back and bumping into another one.</p><p>“Ooooo! It moves!” he giggled.</p><p>Honeymaren leaned forward, inspecting one of the shapes. She twisted her lips and then reached her arm out to touch it. “It…it’s not just moving. It’s alive,” she realized. A quiet gasped escaped her as she leapt back to her feet. “These are eggs!”</p><p>Eggs…?</p><p>Eggs?</p><p>Eggs!</p><p>EGGS!</p><p>Oh….</p><p>Oh shit.</p><p>Elsa could feel the heat rapidly rising to her cheeks. Her eyes widened and her face must have been all but drowned in read when Honeymaren looked to her.</p><p>“Elsa….” The brunette dragged her comment out, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Did you just conjure up a pregnant dragon?”</p><p>That….</p><p>That was….</p><p>An interesting question.</p><p>Did Elsa just conjure up a pregnant dragon?</p><p>Though, the better question was, did she <em>mean</em> to conjure a pregnant dragon?</p><p>Unless that was why it appeared rounder in the first place.</p><p>But then how…?</p><p>Why…?</p><p>What did…?</p><p>What was…?</p><p>Did she…?</p><p>How the hell…?</p><p>The cold never bothered Elsa anyway, but the heat was unbearable.</p><p>So it should have been no surprise at all that through her furious blush and perhaps too obvious sweating, she couldn’t get so much more than a high-pitched squeak out as a response.</p><p>“Oops…?”</p><p>Honeymaren kept an eyebrow raised, but a smirk began to cross her face. The brunette folded her arms and her stare quickly shifted from curious to knowing. Oh no…. What the hell was going on in her mind now? What was she expecting? What was she even going to say?</p><p>Oh shit!</p><p>“Elsa….”</p><p>Please stop using that tone, the blonde thought.</p><p>Honeymaren stepped closer, almost close enough to lean in and kiss her again. It only made Elsa’s entire body feel like it was covered in red.</p><p>“Are you trying to tell me something?”</p><p>Elsa turned her head away.</p><p>Was she trying to tell Honeymaren something?</p><p>Hell, was she trying to tell <em>herself</em> something?</p><p>It wasn’t like it was a thought that crossed Elsa’s mind before.</p><p>Or…. A thought that was even <em>allowed</em> to cross her mind.</p><p>“I probably was too caught up in the moment,” she brushed it off. Elsa set Crystal down and turned on her heel, heading back towards the palace.</p><p>Honeymaren scoffed lightly. “Come on, Els, you can tell me. It’s not like we’ve talked about it yet.”</p><p>“We’ve never needed to. Why should we start now?” Elsa retorted.</p><p>“Because you just magic-ed up a pregnant dragon.”</p><p>“By accident!”</p><p>“I don’t think anyone creates a pregnant anything by accident.”</p><p>“You do not know how my magic works.”</p><p>“No, but I did tell you about the spirits in the first place which are directly tied to your magic.”</p><p>“You are such a know-it-all.”</p><p>“Not if I don’t know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>Elsa folded her arms and sat at the foot of the staircase stubbornly.</p><p>Ok…. So she accidentally magic-ed a pregnant dragon. So what? Now the Snowgies could all have their own dragons, too. Was that really so terrible? Why did there have to be a reason behind it?</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>Elsa heard nothing from Honeymaren right away. Instead, the brunette quietly took a seat beside Elsa. The two of them remained quiet for a few minutes. The only sound either of them heard was Olaf’s voice in the background, seeming to pick out names for each of the eggs. How did he do that, Elsa wondered? Just come up with names on the spot? Bond with her creations so quickly? Just automatically accept them as family with no questions asked?</p><p>It wasn’t like Elsa could ever do that.</p><p>“Elsa…?”</p><p>Well at least it wasn’t the teasing tone she used earlier.</p><p>“<em>Do</em> you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“I’ve never had a reason to before.”</p><p>“Hi, remember me?”</p><p>Elsa didn’t need to look at her to see the signature smirk.</p><p>As much as Elsa would have loved to tease her back for it….</p><p>Her face fell.</p><p>“I never thought I would even get this far.”</p><p>“With me…?”</p><p>“With…. Anyone….”</p><p>Pause.</p><p>“…Ever.”</p><p>“Oh….”</p><p>Honeymaren’s voice started out soft before realization fell.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Elsa sighed. She wrapped her arms around herself and glanced at the snow beneath her. “You know how difficult it is for me to get close to people, Maren. How long it took me to get close to <em>you</em>. I spent most of my life away from people. After what I did to Anna…. I was so terrified I was going to do it again.”</p><p>“You were just a kid,” Honeymaren reminded her.</p><p>“But it didn’t change my magic. The damage it could do,” Elsa pointed out. “If I couldn’t be close with my own sister, how could even hope to get close with someone else? I never begin to imagine spending my life with someone if all I was going to do was hurt them.”</p><p>“So what about me then?” Honeymaren couldn’t help but ask.</p><p>Elsa lifted her head and looked to her partner. “I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else,” she answered honestly.</p><p>Honeymaren rested her hand atop of Elsa’s. “Elsa, you know you can tell me as much or as little as you want to. You always can,” she promised. “But this is something that affects both of us. So…we kind of need to be on a similar page here.”</p><p>“I know,” Elsa admitted with a sigh. “It’s just….”</p><p>What was a decent enough way to explain this?</p><p>Elsa leaned her head back in thought, glancing up at the sky. “My parents never outright said my powers were dangerous. But knowing what I was capable of…knowing I could do that much damage…knowing how much pressure there was to simply attempt to control my powers….” Her brows furrowed. “I didn’t give anything much thought after the thaw. Of course there were some instances where princes or other dignitaries would show interest. I turned them all away but…. As much a role as my magic did play into it, I had always convinced myself that there were so many more important matters to attend to. I had to repair my relationship with Anna. Make sure the kingdom was on track. Keep the peace. My duties as queen kept me quite busy so; I attributed the disinterest partially to not having any time. What was the point in bothering myself with the mere thought of children, let alone any relationship, when there was so much else that needed to be done? Some days I barely even had any time for Anna. I couldn’t take that time away from anyone else as well.”</p><p>She shrugged. “Then, when I became the Fifth Spirit…. Well, obviously some things had changed.” She didn’t need to look at her partner to know she was smirking. There mere thought brought a blush to Elsa’s face. “But I continued telling myself instead that, even though I knew better who I was and what I was supposed to be doing, there was still so much to figure out. I had to learn about my mother’s heritage. Keep the balance. Watch over the spirits and the forest. Then there was Ahtohollan. It…. It was all so much. But….”</p><p>She paused. “But Anna and Kristoff got married and began expanding their family…. I saw them and I was able to realize fully that I would never be exactly like them. Not like that…. With a man. But even with you….” Her face fell. “I know we are not the same as Anna and Kristoff. With how expressive we can be or how much we….”</p><p>“Hey,” Honeymaren gently cut her off. “How little or how much we show or do anything doesn’t make a relationship. And you will never be the same as Anna. You express yourself in your own way and you do it beautifully. And you know I would never force something when you don’t want it.”</p><p>Elsa sighed. “For so long I attributed everything about myself to my magic. Knowing what it could do, what I could do…. And at the mere thought of knowing there was another layer to it, I covered it for as long as possible with lie after lie.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a lie. Even Anna admits how time consuming it is to be queen. And I know it was an adjustment for you in the forest. Those things don’t invalidate or cover anything,” she replied. “You are incredible. Your magic is incredible. And the way you express yourself is incredible. Especially when you share it with me.”</p><p>Elsa felt her hand clench beneath Honeymaren’s and she used her free one to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It never ceased to amaze her how highly Honeymaren could speak of Elsa, even when Elsa thought so little of herself.</p><p>“Ok, let’s disregard everything for five minutes. Magic, intimacy, science, actual reality,” Honeymaren suggested with the swipe of her hand. “What would Elsa the person want?”</p><p>Disregarding everything….</p><p>If her magic didn’t play a factor.</p><p>If it could just be about her and Honeymaren.</p><p>If the two of them wanted and Elsa was more….</p><p>If they were given that opportunity….</p><p>She sucked in her lip briefly. “I never really thought about wanting too much,” she confessed. “It felt so dangerous to dream; I never wanted to get my hopes up.”</p><p>“And what if you could right now? With me?” Honeymaren inquired.</p><p>That certainly was a thought.</p><p>If Elsa could actually allow herself to dream.</p><p>Disregard everything, she thought curiously.</p><p>“I understand Anna’s desire to have a big family,” she began. “She wants to be able to make up for what we lost. Have children close in age, close together, to actually be able to grow up together…. She wants to give them the family and the life that was, on some level, taken away from us. And while the sentiment is tempting….” She tried to fight a small smile. “I never really wanted much. All I ever wanted was Anna. Her, and then Olaf and Kristoff…. And now you…. I have absolutely everything I need. So I would be perfectly content with one or two.”</p><p>It was almost embarrassing to admit it out loud. Saying it, putting it out in the open, it almost implied that Elsa had thought of it before. How could she have answered so easily otherwise?</p><p>“I’d say two or three if I had the choice,” Honeymaren said. “I might lean more towards three, though. I always liked to think that when it was time to give them a bath or something, I could ask them if they wanted mama or mommy to clean them. There’d never be the need for a tie breaker.”</p><p>Elsa scoffed. “You and your competitive as-“</p><p>Honeymaren placed a finger to Elsa’s lips. “Watch your mouth, Els. There’s Snowgies nearby.”</p><p>Elsa pulled her head away and pursed her lips. “Of course that is why you’d want more.” Now it was her turn to smirk. “Too bad that could just as easily work against you. All three of them could decide they want you.”</p><p>“Who’s competitive now?”</p><p>“You are the one who said three.”</p><p>“But if there’s two we’d each <em>have</em> to take one.”</p><p>“Exactly. As if I’d let you off the hook that easily.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”</p><p>Actually…. Elsa wasn’t sure she’d want it another way, either. It was almost nice to imagine what if. After so much time of wondering why she didn’t want or care about it as much. After so much time wondering what might have been wrong with her. After so much time of fearing her powers might get in the way. After so much time coming up with excuse after excuse.</p><p>Hell, she had no control over her powers for so long. How was Elsa supposed to ever believe she could control them enough to protect someone who relied on no one but her? If she had hurt her own sister with her ice, what could have prevented her from hurting her own child?</p><p>But with her magic under control now….</p><p>With a better understanding of it….</p><p>With less fear of it….</p><p>Elsa glanced up at S’more and Marshmallow, who were circling through the clouds in the sky. She then brought her gaze down to the eggs. Olaf had moved onto the next bath of them to name.</p><p>“You’re Sleepy, and you’re Osvald, and you’re Cara…you look like you’d really like carrots…and you…. Ooooh, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you? You’re definitely a Chewy!”</p><p>Elsa shook her head.</p><p>Seriously, how the hell did he do that?</p><p>“So.”</p><p>Elsa blinked and turned to face Maren.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“What names would you use?”</p><p>“Wha…. Me?”</p><p>“Well, yeah. You wouldn’t let Olaf name our kids would you?”</p><p>“Heh…. I would never let Olaf name any human.”</p><p>The two of them shared a laugh.</p><p>Elsa loved Olaf, but he should definitely not be trusted to name babies.</p><p>“So really,” Honeymaren grinned. “You’ve thought of names before haven’t you?”</p><p>Elsa blushed. “The only things I ever named were Olaf and Sir Bjorgenjorgen.”</p><p>“How about after your mother?” she suggested.</p><p>“Anna has already done that. I wouldn’t want to overstep,” Elsa admitted.</p><p>“It doesn’t have to be the same name. It could still start with an I,” she offered.</p><p>“Maybe. But….” Elsa thought about it for a minute. “But I think if I did honor anyone, it would be Anna.”</p><p>“I think that’d be perfect,” Honeymaren smiled.</p><p>The blush returned. Was Elsa supposed to feel this embarrassed?</p><p>“Hey,” she gently forced Elsa’s attention back to her. “I meant what I said before, you know? You don’t have to be afraid anymore. The past is in the past. It can’t hurt you again. And it won’t control you. The only ones that can dictate our lives are us. So everything we do from this point on, we do together. Because no one is gonna protect our kids better than us.”</p><p>Elsa’s brows furrowed in thought. She glanced at the scenery around her.</p><p>The past was in the past, wasn’t it? It was all beneath the snow. How many new snowfalls had there been since Elsa first built the ice palace? It was so long ago now. Elsa had grown and changed so much.</p><p>But she never stopped protecting.</p><p>Even back then, when she acted out of fear.</p><p>Even when she looked back on that day when it all started.</p><p>Everything she ever did was to protect Anna.</p><p>And all she would ever do was protect the people she loved.</p><p>That’s what Elsa did.</p><p>That’s what her powers did.</p><p>All that time Elsa believed it was so dangerous for her to want anything. Dangerous to dream. That she was actually the one who was dangerous. It consumed her so much that to this day she still believed it to be true. If she was dangerous enough to send a snow monster against her own sister…dangerous enough to lose control and sneeze up a bunch of tiny snowmen…. How much more dangerous would she be if she were to completely lose every sense of control?</p><p>But how far she’d come since then!</p><p>She had barely used her magic to fight since. If anything, it was defense more than anything. She used her magic to please. To entertain. She used it to protect.</p><p>She knew what she was doing.</p><p>And she knew every time since Ahtohollan.</p><p>She was completely in control.</p><p>Ice was what was dangerous; not Elsa.</p><p>When she looked up again and saw S’more and Marshmallow landing in the snow, Elsa realized just how much progress she made.</p><p>She just faced her fears and created not only an entirely new being, but multiple new ones.</p><p>It wasn’t just her overcoming her past.</p><p>It was also her dreaming for her future.</p><p>The future she was absolutely allowed to want and have.</p><p>The one she was planning in that moment with Honeymaren.</p><p>Smiling at the realization, Elsa stood up from the staircase.</p><p>“Wanna go for a ride?”</p><p>After Marshmallow dismounted S’more, Elsa and Honeymaren climbed on the dragon.</p><p>No more living in fear, Elsa decided, this was going to be the first day of the rest of their lives.</p><p>And as S’more flapped its wings and suddenly rocketed off into the sky, Elsa couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She hadn’t felt that freer since transforming into the Fifth Spirit. Her hair flipped through the wind rapidly and she could hear Honeymaren gasping beside her, likely trying to hold on tight to her hat. But Elsa actually let go of S’more, straightening out her arms and feeling the wind smack against them.</p><p>As they flew over the sunset of the golden air, Elsa finally allowed herself to breathe.</p><p>Who would have thought that the visit to the ice palace was exactly what she needed?</p><p>As S’more slowed down and the breeze became more delicate, Elsa tucked her hair behind her ears and flattened it briefly against her neck. With another sigh of relief, she leaned against her partner.</p><p>“Some view, huh?” Honeymaren couldn’t help but comment.</p><p>“It’s perfect,” she smiled.</p><p>But then, at long last, everything actually did feel perfect.</p><p>“Oh…I just realized,” Elsa blinked after a moment, “you haven’t shared any names.”</p><p>“Haven’t I?” she asked almost innocently.</p><p>Elsa shook her head. “What were you thinking of?”</p><p>She felt Honeymaren smile against her hair as her toned arm wrapped tightly around Elsa.</p><p>“Anything that reminds me of you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So i think this started when Salamander shared a drawing of Elsa with a dragon which got T2Boy2, I Simp For Maren, and myself (i think that was primarily us anyway? i know some others have jumped in at some point as well) talking about Elsa having her own dragon. And we were literally joking about Anna borrowing the dragon (without Elsa's permission), what the dragon's name would be, how Dreamworks and Disney totally need to team up and make this a thing.... </p><p>Anyway, i started writing a mad lib about it because it seemed way too good to be true because how can this ACTUALLY be a thing? But then i started writing it and somehow, the words 'pregnant dragon' were written. And no, that was not a fill in the blank part. i actually willingly wrote 'pregnant dragon'. Which, of course, let Maren to tease Elsa 'soooo what aren't you telling me ;)' but then i thought, wait how can Elsamaren jump right into having a family and planning that if Elsa potentially has unresolved issues with Marshmallow and the Snowgies? And i remember some time ago reading someone's analysis on Tumblr about Elsa's feelings about Marshmallow and the Snowgies and why she even keeps them. No, i did not consult that for this oneshot, i don't even remember who wrote it or when i found it. But yes, that did kind of serve some inspiration here.</p><p>So i started to work backwards from that moment and think, what would cause Elsa in this confusion and negativity and anxiousness to great a bada-s dragon? Cue Elsa's conflicting emotions about Marshmallow and the Snowgies and how she potentially feels about actually seeing them and remembering those dark moments she went through when they were created. Look how far she's come.... hi giant dragon, total perfect combination of both fearful and amazing just like her powers! </p><p>Admittedly, the implications in her conversation with Maren were me selfishly throwing Asexual Elsa into the mix. i'll leave it up to you guys to decide if it's alluding simply to asexuality or a specific label under the umbrella (i personally cannon her as demi (be it demisexual or demiromantic or both but that's besides the point).) And i was debating whether or not to keep that in, but in the end i thought it brought up an important point that there is more to Elsa than her powers and she is still human. And humans have those conflicting feelings and insecurities. But mostly because i'm selfish and as an ace girl would like to give Asexual Elsa some love lol.</p><p>Anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this on some level and, like i said, i didn't proofread or reread this before posting because i'm tired and lazy and also perpetually living in a grocery store. Also i may or may not have started daydreaming about Elsamaren's kids riding on the dragon #sorrynotsorry. Also credit to Salamander for naming the dragon!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>